Insurance -- UGH!!!

So, with a new baby and a kid with a broken collar bone, comes numerous doctor's bills.  That would be fine if the insurance we pay for EVERY MONTH was worth it.  It seems, however, that we pay co-pays for doctors visits - that don't go toward our deductible, meet a deductible that doesn't go toward our out-of-pocket max, and meet an out-of-pocket max that only applies for one person.  Everyone else has a deductible of their own - which also doesn't go toward the OPM.  So, instead of what you think, for an individual would be a $3,000 OPM actually turns into $4,000 ($1,000 deductible + $3,000 OPM).  What would for a family of 5 be an OPM of $6,000, actually turns to to be $1,000 deductible per person, no matter what.  That equals $5,000. The family OPM is $6,000, so---theoretically --- if everyone in the family had a medical issue, as a family we could end up paying $11,000 plus all the Dr. co-pays!  I'm sure you are reading this and saying -- yeah -- so?  That may be, but it really ticks me off, because it all seems so "tricky".  Anyways, in order to take out my frustration, but not end up in jail, or have my insurance company refuse to pay ANYTHING, I decided to write a poem.  It is not a good poem, but it made me feel quite witty to write it!  I hope you enjoy!


I do not like you insurance scam
I'd rather eat
A whole can of SPAM

I do not like you there or home
I'd like to hit you
With a Garden Gnome

I do not like your wallet choke
You take my money
Even though I'm broke

I keep getting bills you refuse to pay
I'm up to my gills
They won't go away

Why do I have you?
It seems such a ruse
With all of these Co-pays
I could have taken a cruise

I'll never my Out-of-Pocket meet
My deductible doesn't go toward it
I'm gonna end up on the street

So I guess I'll end this and say goodbye
To my money, my dignity
And my piece of the pie

Oh -- and my eating SUCKED today -- had another giant candy bar in addition to a 6oz sirloin.  I enjoyed every bite!  (Until I stepped on the scale)